Fuck, Marry, Kill – April 2017

Yo.

I’m not out of the woods yet but I managed to make time for this post because they’re fun and easy. And yes, they’re going to be a thing each month.

In case you missed FMK March, know that this is a series of posts where I basically pick my top 6 characters from each anime series I watch in a month, put their names through a randomizer to get sets of names and then pick from each set those that I’d sleep with, get hitched to or chop up had they been, y’know, real.

Well, that’s not quite right. Only the screwing would happen had they been real. I doubt marriage is for me and murder sounds like a one-way ticket to prison.

Now onwards to the fun bits. I’ve spared you my photoshopping this time around and linked full-size images instead. Enjoy.

Series:

Kekkai Sensen, Overlord, Ao no Kanata no Four Rhythm

Characters:

Kekkai Sensen – Klaus Black White Leo Chain Zapp

Overlord – Albedo, Ainz, Narberal, Aura, Shalltear, Demiurge

AoKana – Kagami, Masayo, Shindou, Asuka, Misaki, Rika

Set 01: Asuka, Shalltear, Kagami

Marry Kagami Aoi because even though we see so little of her in the show, what is there gives the impression of a pretty damn cool lady. And I may or may not have eaten up every scene she had from the start. Fuck Asuka since she’s absolutely adorable so why the hell not? Kill Shalltear. Sorry but I’m not into sadistic vampires that look like kids.

Set 02: Aura, Chain, Rika

Marry Rika because she’s really sweet and cute to boot. I don’t know how I’d deal with someone that shy and nice but all the same, I can’t deny that she’d make a great partner. Fuck Chain because my thing for women in suits is not and will never be subtle. Chain doesn’t even have any significant scenes but that didn’t stop me from fawning every time she popped up. Kill Aura because once again, I’m not into little kids or people that look the part.

Set 03: Black, Narberal, Masayo

Marry Black since, much like Rika, he’s sweet, shy and kind, not to mention extremely devoted. It’s not like I have some ideal partner traits to count off so I’ll go with what seems nice. Fuck Narberal because she is hot enough to scorch the flames of hell but got an attitude that would not be conductive to any kind of relationship. And Kill Masayo. I like the guy but he doesn’t hold up to the other two.

Set 04: Misaki, Albedo, White

Marry Albedo because who wouldn’t want to shack up with a lowkey yandere who’s crazy even on her good days? I mean, she’d make a custom dakimakura of you and nothing’s more creepily romantic than that. Fuck White since she’s very pretty and also seems like fun company. That leaves Misaki to Kill even though I’ve got absolutely nothing against her.

Set 05: Klaus, Ainz, Demiurge

Klaus is the obvious choice to Marry because he’s that rare combination of utterly badass and utterly adorable. I really don’t know how someone that huge and bulky can give the impression of a cuddly teddy bear but he does. Fuck Demiurge. If the choice is between an oversized, overpowered skeleton and a humanoid guy with a prehensile tail, I’d choose the latter. So yeah, Ainz to Kill. He’s better admired from a safe distance.

Set 06: Leo, Zapp, Shindo

Marry Shindo because, well, the other two don’t seem to be such great options. Shindo seems like a cool enough guy and hey, he’s handsome. His personality doesn’t seem bad either. Fuck Zapp because out of him and Leo, he’s more appealing. And so Kill Leo even though he’s a perfectly nice boy with rather shitty luck in life.