Murder As The Ultimate Expression Of Love
This is relatively tame for this anime
Exams are over, I’m back and this putrid pile of refuse is back with me. Did you miss my suffering?
Language warning. These few weeks of peace had allowed me to forget how much this show pissed me off so now the outrage is twice as strong.
Usually, I’d provide something like a ‘what happened till last episode’ here since it’s been a while but this is Diabolik Creeps and not some other anime of reasonable quality so the previous five episodes can be effectively summed up like this – girl is packed off to a mansion where she meets six men that take turns drinking her blood while making allusions to rape, girl promptly loses all common sense and starts making questionable decisions.
In fact, this episode starts with one such questionable decision. Yui finds Kanato sitting on the second floor railing and rushes to his side to express her concern that he may fall.
Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.
That teddy bear obsessed piece of shit basically assaulted her in a cemetery last episode. Concern is absolutely not what she should be feeling right now. She shouldn’t be anywhere near him right now. What the hell, Yui?
It gets even worse though. Kanato proceeds to wonder why she looks fearful since that expression makes him worry about what he did to make her afraid of him.
Yeah, I wonder what he could’ve possibly done.
Delusional shits, the whole lot of them.
Yui, maintaining her streak of fucking stupid decisions, hangs around and worries even as Kanato mocks her for her concern. And rather than push that little brat down and hope he bursts his head open, she continues to just stand there and fret. Kanato just lets himself fall and is absolutely a-ok which surprises none of us but is the shock of a lifetime to Yui. Because she’s an idiot.
The show then tries to imply that Kanato has a minor death wish. Guess who doesn’t care? Me, that’s who. He can go drown in acid.
Kanato then says he’ll take Yui to a special place and she thus follows him to a chamber filled with wax figures of women in bridal wear. Not creepy at all. Yui regains some of her lost brain cells and is weirded out by them. Too late though since Kanato wastes no time flipping from kooky brat to laughing sadist. We get this gem of a line:
“You would be beautiful as a silent corpse.”
Now I know what to say when I want to hit on a cute girl the next time. Really, it doesn’t get more flattering than that. Maybe I should show her my gallery of eerie as fuck wax figures made from human corpses too. It’s a guaranteed date (in prison).
Yui, thankfully, does not find this all that romantic and tries to run away – took you long enough – but is treated to the normal routine of being pinned to a wall and licked all over while being showered with pathetic attempts at dirty talk that would make a twelve year old’s M-rated fanfiction seem classy. This time around, it involves Kanato telling her what a lovely wax bride she’d make in what is probably supposed to be a seductive tone.
Speaking of saving, Ayato shows up while Kanato is draining her and sends him away. It seems like he’s just going to pick up where Kanato left off but he stops short of biting her and just leaves.
I hope that’s not an attempt to make us think Ayato’s got a decent bone in his body because trust me, one instant of mild kindness does not even begin to compensate for all the shit he’s pulled.
As she leaves Kanato’s wax bride chamber, Yui runs into Subaru (a.k.a, the Angry Asshole) who, in an act that’s the best thing any six of these dickwards have done so far, tells her to run away before she’s killed. He even says this is the best time for it. He doesn’t try to mock her or bite her – just calmly tells her to run before she dies. I am a little in shock that one of these guys is not an asshole for at least one episode.
But worry not, Yui makes up for Subaru’s decency with a decision that is so monumentally idiotic that I want to split her head open to check if she’s got an actual brain rather than clay or some shit inside. In other words, she decides to stay…to find out the truth about her father and the church. The motive makes enough sense. However-
Could she not have done that from somewhere she is not in danger of dying every damn day?
She could have tried finding her father and asking him. She could have tried anything that did not involve regular interaction with six vampires lusting for her blood and who makes her into a bloodbag every day without fail.
What the hell, Yui?
I’m going to be asking that a lot, aren’t I?
Anyway, when Subaru sees that she’s decided to stay, he gives her a silver knife that can kill vampires if it strikes their hearts. We can already tell that Yui is never going to use it. More importantly, we see another flashback with a woman – probably Subaru’s mum since that seems to be the established pattern – in a cell of sorts who gives Subaru the knife and asks him to kill.
Does every single one of these boys have mommy issues? Seriously?
Yui returns to her room, knife in hand, and finds Raito waiting for her in her bed. After the usual casual insults, he spots the knife and presses it to his own chest, saying he didn’t know she loved him so.
So turns out that murder is the ultimate love confession for vampires.
But you know, I could get behind that concept if this had been a quality show rather than this garbage. In the not-so-far past, I’ve found and liked stories where death or murder is given romantic connotations. If done well, it’s a fascinating, though undeniably morbid and very unhealthy, idea.
Alas this is not some other quality show and is just a stinking mess so what follows is some tacky bullshit. Raito picks up their earlier conversation about faith, Yui insists that she still believes and Raito confesses to developing an interest in more than just her blood.
I’d get why he’d be only interested in her blood. That doesn’t make him any less of a bitch but it still makes sense. But this sudden interest in her as a person feels utterly unwarranted since she’s blander than a glass of water, lacks any significant agency and also seems to have lost all common sense.
But whatever. There’s no accounting for taste.
I really had forgotten how unapologetically atrocious this anime is.
We seem to have lost the one-guy-per-episode approach and is now featuring multiple guys together. No, it’s not improvement. I’ve just moved on from wishing death on one particular character to wishing death on many, Yui included.
Speaking of Yui, wow, her character’s gone downhill. In the early episodes, she was helpless but she tried. She ran away, she stood up to the vampires, she had something of a voice. Now she’s unbelievably stupid for no damned reason.
Is this going to get worse?
Is my suffering going to increase?
Only time shall tell.